This past week has been a challenge, to say the least. I am still tired from vacation (how does that work?) and feel that I could use about a 32 hour nap (good luck, right?). I have yet to unpack or put the laundry away from before vacation, my house could use some TLC... and it's SO FLIPPEN HOT OUTSIDE ALREADY!! Seriously, so hot! Like, right now at 5:15 pm, it's 84 degrees out. I'm sure Bryant will want to divorce me soon for my crabby, snappy attitude today (which, btw, is because of the heat). It was sad, we were looking at a house and I was complaining how hot it was and Bryant goes, "well, do you just want to move out of Arizona?" lol. Poor hubby of mine.
On top of everything else I've been having a hard time with Andy. Andy has Asperger's Disorder (a form of autism- he is highly functional and you couldn't tell from being around him that he even has it, but causes some problems at school and such)and SEVERE ADHD (thankfully he's on some good meds and they seem to be working...), so needless to say, Andy can be a handful at times. Kids with Asperger's basically don't have any social boundaries, and they don't understand other peoples feelings. This was really hard for me to understand. I just couldn't (and still have a hard time) grasp that he didn't take into consideration other peoples feelings. Andy has his days, and some are WAY better than others, but this week... man, oh man. The Thursday before spring break I was looking through Andy's backpack to find that Andy never turned in some math pages that were due that day or he wouldn't get credit (Andy struggles in math and was getting a failing grade so any assignment would help) so I decided to keep him home until the work was done and then send him to school with it. I sat down and helped him for 2 hours. No big deal, it would help him, right? Fast forward to Monday of this week, I'm going through Andy's backpack and find the math sheets right where I put them, he had never turned them in. I was so upset. I wrote a note to the teacher and hoped for the best. So then this morning I go to sign Andy's agenda (the kids have agendas that parents have to sign daily so you get a little update and any notes from the teacher go in there- I LOVE it!) and find that it's not in his backpack. I ask Andy why and he said he forgot it at school. Hum, in the past 7 months he hasn't done this, that's odd. I inquire further, was there a note in it for me? He couldn't remember. Ya, right. The kid remembers what I was wearing the day I met him- I doubt he forgot. I push a little harder, asking what the note says. Casually he tells me there were some papers stapled to it and a note saying they were found in his desk. Oh, super. I call his teacher and send him off to school. Then this afternoon we took the kids to get ice cream and Andy is looking very strange, and I can't put my finger on why.... then he says, "Look what happened" and his 3 month old glasses are sitting in two pieces in his hands. They snapped in half. How did this happen? He claims he was just sitting there and they broke. Hum... I've had glasses since I was like 10 and never had this happen. How did it really happen? He didn't know. So, I walk over to the eye dr that we got them out and shell out $60 for a new pair of frames (thank heavens for protection plans). Urgh. I know it was just $60 but still, I just bought them 3 months ago.
My point is, I'm at my whits end. I really don't know what to do with this kid. He could care less about all of these things. He acts like I'm over reacting. I know none of you have 8 year old boys, so I don't know if this is just typical behavior or if he is just being really super bad. It seems like nothing we do works. We have tried time outs, we have tried grounding, we have tried taking privileges away, we even have tried spanking (please don't tell me how I'm a child abuser, I think the spanking was so soft a fly would have laughed). Nothing works. I've tried crying and talking to him. Nothing. Sorry, I just needed to vent. And if you have suggestions, please offer them up, we're willing to try anything... even adoption if necessary. lol. Good thing he looks cute with make-up on, I guess!
5 comments:
First of all, he does look good in lipstick. Second of all-I think it might be a normal 8 year old thing. I was a super easy kid (you can even ask my mom), but I went through a phase somewhere between 8 and 10 that I just didn't want to help out, and I was super emotional, etc. This was coming from a kid that was easy all the other years. You have a kid that has the decks stacked against him anyway, plus he has been moved around a bit, which would also be hard, and it just is going to add up. Does that make things easier? Doubtfully, but at least you can know that with a little patience and love, he will more than likely outgrow it. Just keep trying-you are doing great!
PS-Bryant does NOT need pointers on dating or present giving.
Well the only thing I can say is there must be books out there that can help. I know that my sister n law has a son with autismn but its not the same. I hope things go better.
Autumn,
Sounds like your little one needs to be in a special ed class. Kids with Aspergers need special attention, and he will get that in a special ed class. Special ed classes aren't just for those who have major disabilities. It can really help him.
I'm not going to pretend like I know anything about what you're going through because I don't. But I recently got called into teach primary. One of my kids is Autistic. Something I've learned from him and his mom is how much diet has an effect on him and the way he acts. He has to play with certain play-doh, can only eat thing his mom gives us, can't use stickers, if certain things touch his skin they have to be washed immediately. It's strict but his mom says it's worth ALL the work and effort.
I have no idea if Andy fits into this or not, but I've heard a lot about diet and how it can make a huge difference in how kids (and all of us for that matter) act. We could all do a little better at what we put into our amazing bodies!
I don't have any advice on how to take care of your Andy, or how to treat him. I have never been there before, I have a hard enough time taking care of my 3 year old. I am not here to judge or tell you what to do. BUT...I do know that you are doing all you can to take care of him as well as you can. I know that you are blessed for taking care of all 3 of these children! You are praying for help, going to the temple, seeking counsel from your husband, you are doing waht you need. The answers WILL come and everything will fall into place. I love you Autty. You are such a GOOD and PATIENT mommy!
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