Many of you already know, but in case you didn't... I had a miscarriage on Friday July 2nd. I will just say my heart is broken. After 3 plus years of trying to have a baby the thought of actually being blessed with one was so exciting. Our kids talked about the baby on a daily basis. Giovanni kissed my belly several times every day. The thing that was so strange about everything, the whole time I was nervous. I never fully could wrap my mind around the fact that we would be having a baby. I was so excited, but very, very nervous. Not that it made miscarring any easier. My heart still hurts. I laid in bed and cried with my kids and hubby most of the day Saturday. I'm trying to be strong, and have faith that one day when the time is right we will have a baby, but it's hard. I want one now. I'm angry, sad, frustrated, and a thousand other emotions right now. I know that the Lord knows what is best, and He schedules while I plan, but, nothing is making me take comfort in that right now. Especially when we were leaving to go swimming Friday night and Giovanni said,"I wish the baby were here still" my heart broke.
I am thankful for the Priesthood blessings both Bryant and I received from my Dad. I take comfort in the words that were spoken. I am thankful for a loving family who realize that at a drop of a hat I cry. I feel so blessed to have friends who are willing to listen to me say over and over how bad this sucks. I am thankful for the many prayers that were said for my family. I'm trying to make goals for myself so I don't slide deeper into the dark, this week my goal is not to cry. Well, at least not in public or at work. Good things will happen for my family, and we have seen blessings this past week that we weren't expecting. One being Bry got {and accepted} an amazing job offer. I guess the thing is, it's so easy to just be sad. It's so easy to want to lay in bed and cry and think about how bad this sucks. It's so easy to let myself go to that dark place. But we all know just because it's easy doesn't make it right. Sorry, I'll stop my huge run on of a sentence now. Again, thank you for the calls, the stop in's, and all the prayers.
Monday, July 12, 2010
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Monday, June 14, 2010
NYC, baby!
As most of you know I got a promotion at work and am now the new office manager! I'll save you the boring details and just let you know I'm so excited and love it! It's a lot of work, but I love helping people and I love seeing people's lives change.
As part of my new job I get to be spoiled by our vendors who take me to lunch and bring me goodies. Last week I was at lunch with our Lap Band rep when she asks me if I'd be interested in attending a seminar to learn how to give lap band fills. I say, sure why not. Then she says, ok it's in New York. All expenses paid. WHAT?! OK!!! So then I say the smart thing, do I have to go alone or can I bring someone in the office. I'm given permission to take Kristen, who is with me! We are trying to hold off on screaming and act cool. I think three seconds after the car door shut Kristen and I were doing the happy dance about our NY trip!
SO... here's where YOU come in, loyal blog reader... neither Kristen or I have EVER been to New York! We are extending our trip for 2 extra days so we will be in New York from Wednesday through Sunday... we don't have a ton of time, so we need help making sure we don't miss any good places... so what are the "must see" of New York? {besides like everything!}
Sunday, May 23, 2010
I Love to See The Temple
Today the Gila Valley Arizona Temple was dedicated, because we live in Arizona it was broad casted through out the state for members 8 and above. I have never been to a Temple dedication, so I was really excited! I was a little sad for Natali and Giovanni they couldn't go, but I also was thankful for the opportunity we had to share this experience with Andy.
It never ceases to amaze me when you are trying to do everything right how the adversary attempts to prevent it. Last night plans changed for our sitter. This morning my alarm didn't go off {note to self, when setting the alarm make sure it's set for the proper day}. I forgot our white hankies. But, when we finally got there the Spirit was so strong I had a hard time keeping my emotions under control. We went to our old stake center to see the broadcast, and I loved seeing some familiar faces, even if I didn't get to say hi, just seeing the faces was nice!
I am thankful for our sweet Prophet. I loved seeing him interact with the children. I'm so thankful for the atonement that allowed me to attend this sacred ordinance. I am so thankful for a husband who is a worthy Priesthood holder who held my hand and got emotional with me as well. I am so thankful for a son who is growing into an amazing young man. I am so thankful for the Temple and for being sealed to my awesome hubs. I can't wait to make the trip to Gila Valley to see the Temple in person!
Sunday, March 28, 2010
The Phone Call That Started it All
16 months ago I was laying in bed and the thought popped in my head about having weight loss surgery-- would my insurance cover it? Would I ever do it? The next day I picked up the phone called the insurance got the ok, then went online and called the office with the prettiest website (yes, that really is how I picked my surgeon, sad but true!). Fast forward 9 months and I'm talking to Jen (the office manager at said surgeon's office) and she asks me about coming to work with the office. Fast forward another 6 months (yes, it really has been almost 6 months) to Friday... I will set the scene for you... I'm at work and get a phone call from Bry saying he had picked up the certified letter from the post office and it was from our landlord, he was raising the rent. Grr.
Now, first things first, Bry and I really have been trying to live within our means and stick to somewhat of a budget, this leaves no room for "rent increase". The increase wasn't much, but like I said we have a budget and needed to stick to it. The straw that broke this camels back was that the landlord mailed us the paperwork and then said we had 4 days to let him know, by March 31 if we weren't staying it would be our 30 day notice. What?! 4 days?! That just seemed rude to me! So I get off the phone and casually mention to Jen what was going on who then tells me that Melissa over in scheduling at the hospital had a house to rent. I email Melissa, she sends pics and I fall in love with the house. No cost is mentioned so I figured it was out of my budget. I asked Melissa how much and that this was the amount we needed to stay in, so if it was more then please let me down easy... I get an email back and actually, rent is $10 cheaper than what I pay now! For a bigger, newer home! I get excited and set up a time to see the house the next day. That night Bry and I prayed fervently that if this was what we were to do for our family that we would know. That we would be presented with an opportunity we couldn't turn down.
Yesterday we went through the house and fell in love. It's really everything I've ever wanted in a house. The back yard is beautiful. The great room is great. Bry loves the surround sound... it's a win, win, people! We continue to talk all the while I'm scared to ask deposits and hoops to be jumped through. Melissa then asks if we like the house and when we want to move in. That's it?! Wow! It was seriously too easy. The Lord knew we needed to know and we needed to know quick.
I'm so torn. I LOVE this new house. LOVE it. We attended our new ward today and people were really friendly. It was odd not to see familiar faces. I actually got to go to Sunday school and Relief Society. I cried during sacrament thinking of saying good bye to my sweet ward. But then I remembered, I'm moving 5 miles away. People who love me will still invite me to their parties, or to go out. They will drive the 5 miles to come see me. And I will most defiantly drive it to see them.
I really am excited for this opportunity to get a new start. I've needed change. I didn't know what kind though. I'm excited for my kids to meet new friends and to have a backyard to play in with grass! I'm excited Bry won't harass me for surround sound anymore. More than anything, I'm thankful that the Lord showed His tender mercy to a child who has had wavering faith lately, took her in His arms and showed her the path that needed to be taken. And it all started with one phone call.
Now, first things first, Bry and I really have been trying to live within our means and stick to somewhat of a budget, this leaves no room for "rent increase". The increase wasn't much, but like I said we have a budget and needed to stick to it. The straw that broke this camels back was that the landlord mailed us the paperwork and then said we had 4 days to let him know, by March 31 if we weren't staying it would be our 30 day notice. What?! 4 days?! That just seemed rude to me! So I get off the phone and casually mention to Jen what was going on who then tells me that Melissa over in scheduling at the hospital had a house to rent. I email Melissa, she sends pics and I fall in love with the house. No cost is mentioned so I figured it was out of my budget. I asked Melissa how much and that this was the amount we needed to stay in, so if it was more then please let me down easy... I get an email back and actually, rent is $10 cheaper than what I pay now! For a bigger, newer home! I get excited and set up a time to see the house the next day. That night Bry and I prayed fervently that if this was what we were to do for our family that we would know. That we would be presented with an opportunity we couldn't turn down.
Yesterday we went through the house and fell in love. It's really everything I've ever wanted in a house. The back yard is beautiful. The great room is great. Bry loves the surround sound... it's a win, win, people! We continue to talk all the while I'm scared to ask deposits and hoops to be jumped through. Melissa then asks if we like the house and when we want to move in. That's it?! Wow! It was seriously too easy. The Lord knew we needed to know and we needed to know quick.
I'm so torn. I LOVE this new house. LOVE it. We attended our new ward today and people were really friendly. It was odd not to see familiar faces. I actually got to go to Sunday school and Relief Society. I cried during sacrament thinking of saying good bye to my sweet ward. But then I remembered, I'm moving 5 miles away. People who love me will still invite me to their parties, or to go out. They will drive the 5 miles to come see me. And I will most defiantly drive it to see them.
I really am excited for this opportunity to get a new start. I've needed change. I didn't know what kind though. I'm excited for my kids to meet new friends and to have a backyard to play in with grass! I'm excited Bry won't harass me for surround sound anymore. More than anything, I'm thankful that the Lord showed His tender mercy to a child who has had wavering faith lately, took her in His arms and showed her the path that needed to be taken. And it all started with one phone call.
Friday, March 12, 2010
Gotta Get Away
It's 4:45 am and I've been up since 3. I went to bed at 10:30... what is wrong with me?! Apparently I've become all to accustom to not having sufficient sleep! I've been working more hours than I've been sleeping, then trying to juggle the family, school, and a social life I've been on over load. Not to mention last Saturday our car broke down and left us stranded in Glendale... thank heaven's my parents live in Glendale and rescued us! So this week has been spent selling both of our cars and getting new (to us) cars. I feel like I don't have room to breath right now. I'm sure any of you who read this and are in my ward are wondering how you are reading this from me because you've probably assumed I died... never fear, I haven't. But there is a light at the end of my tunnel (I think). This afternoon when I get off work we are driving to Kingman to meet up and have them go to Utah for the week while Bry and I go away to Newport for our early anniversary trip. Everyone has been asking me what we have planed for our trip... I'm so excited to report we don't have one single thing planned. Except sleeping in, lounging by the pool, going to the beach, and not thinking about homework, or housework, or work work. No stressing about money, or aging, or why Giovanni refuses to help do chores. 5 full days of nothing to rush to, nothing to hurry up and finish. I. Can't. Wait. My biggest hope for my vacation is to come back relaxed and rejuvenated where I can feel like I can breath and maybe even with a slight tan! ;)
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Fun With Family
So this post is a lot of pics and they are out of order, sorry!!!
We were super lucky to have both of my sisters visit this month! Auntie Summer came first with Uncle Jared, Emma, Carson, and baby Harrison from Cedar Hills, UT! It was so fun to meet Harrison, and I think it may have been the first time the kids met Carson. We had fun going to Cabella's and the Glendale Chocolate Festival. We also had fun having Sunday dinner at our house!
The kids thought this elephant was soooo cool! And Giovanni thought it was soooo cool to have a kid smaller than him to boss around (please note this same "tug" he's giving Carson in the other group shot lol)
Emma and I
Summer, Papa, and Harrison at the Chocolate Festival
Our fam at the chocolate festival... I think I ate pretty much everything that was seen in this pic!
Natali and Emma at Grammy and Papa's
My kiddos and Summer's kiddos!
For not liking cheesecake I could have eaten a dozen of these little suckers!!
Me and my love... and Bry hehe! This apple was sooo good though! ;)
Carson loved being on Uncle Bryant's shoulders!
Next Auntie Amy came with Caitlyn, Colby, Calleya, and baby Cwynn from Oceanside, CA. It was so fun meeting another new baby!! We had fun with them going shopping, playing at the mall play area, and having family dinner at our house Valentine's day!
Me and Caitlyn...can't believe how big she is already!
Papa, Giovanni, and Colby
Calleya and Natali
Calleya is so freakin' cute!!
I don't think Cwynn thought it was funny, Uncle Bry!
My all time favorite pic of Andy!!
It was a busy two weekends but we sure loved seeing our family! We wish they lived closer so we could see them more! Maybe we'll have to make a trip to see them next!!
We were super lucky to have both of my sisters visit this month! Auntie Summer came first with Uncle Jared, Emma, Carson, and baby Harrison from Cedar Hills, UT! It was so fun to meet Harrison, and I think it may have been the first time the kids met Carson. We had fun going to Cabella's and the Glendale Chocolate Festival. We also had fun having Sunday dinner at our house!
The kids thought this elephant was soooo cool! And Giovanni thought it was soooo cool to have a kid smaller than him to boss around (please note this same "tug" he's giving Carson in the other group shot lol)
Emma and I
Summer, Papa, and Harrison at the Chocolate Festival
Our fam at the chocolate festival... I think I ate pretty much everything that was seen in this pic!
Natali and Emma at Grammy and Papa's
My kiddos and Summer's kiddos!
For not liking cheesecake I could have eaten a dozen of these little suckers!!
Me and my love... and Bry hehe! This apple was sooo good though! ;)
Carson loved being on Uncle Bryant's shoulders!
Next Auntie Amy came with Caitlyn, Colby, Calleya, and baby Cwynn from Oceanside, CA. It was so fun meeting another new baby!! We had fun with them going shopping, playing at the mall play area, and having family dinner at our house Valentine's day!
Me and Caitlyn...can't believe how big she is already!
Papa, Giovanni, and Colby
Calleya and Natali
Calleya is so freakin' cute!!
I don't think Cwynn thought it was funny, Uncle Bry!
My all time favorite pic of Andy!!
It was a busy two weekends but we sure loved seeing our family! We wish they lived closer so we could see them more! Maybe we'll have to make a trip to see them next!!
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