So, the kids biological mother is crazy and I think tonight it just got to me. I know that everyone claims their ex is crazy but she really is. We found out last night that the ex, Z, has a warrant out for her arrest. Now, I've had one too (I didn't pay a ticket on time- oops!) but it wasn't for something small. She had a domestic violence report or whatever that she was supposed to have gone to court for last November. She came back into town, claimed she went to court and what did we find out last night? Failure to appear. She has been telling lies to us the whole time telling us that she had classes that she needed to take. I'm just so frustrated. I am not at all surprised that she lied, that's what she does best, but Bryant paid for her to come here to go to court and then she never went. Vanni is 2 almost 3 and didn't speak a word when I met him so we had a speech therapist come to our home and evaluate him a few months ago. The therapist told us that he was neglected and that he was starved for attention for so long that he never learned how to talk. You should hear him talk now, he NEVER stops! But it makes me so happy. Just to know that he feels comfortable and loved enough and that he is learning. He has adjusted so well to being with Bryant and I. He is super cute.
Natali is 4 almost 5 and doesn't understand that her mom doesn't want her. Natali will tell me stories about when she was with her "other Mom Zuleyma" and they are horrible. She told me how her mom hit her with a shoe on her head so hard that her eyes got blurred. She told me that her mom would sleep all the time and if Natali was hungry she had to go get her own food so she would make cereal for herself. She told me how she would make bottles for Vanni so that he wouldn't cry. It breaks my heart. They call the house they lived in with her the "cockroach house" because it had a ton of cockroaches from being so dirty. I just want to hold her and tell her that life isn't supposed to be this way for a 4 year old girl. Your mom doesn't deserve you. But I also don't ever want her to hate me for telling her bad things about her mom. I love these kids so much and though it's all really new for me, I'm trying my hardest. I know I'm not the most patient person, but I'm trying.
I just want to give my kids the best life from here on out. I want them to know that even though I didn't give birth to them, they are mine. I love them more than the person who did give birth to them. Someday I hope that they will understand that I love them like none other.
Natali is 4 almost 5 and doesn't understand that her mom doesn't want her. Natali will tell me stories about when she was with her "other Mom Zuleyma" and they are horrible. She told me how her mom hit her with a shoe on her head so hard that her eyes got blurred. She told me that her mom would sleep all the time and if Natali was hungry she had to go get her own food so she would make cereal for herself. She told me how she would make bottles for Vanni so that he wouldn't cry. It breaks my heart. They call the house they lived in with her the "cockroach house" because it had a ton of cockroaches from being so dirty. I just want to hold her and tell her that life isn't supposed to be this way for a 4 year old girl. Your mom doesn't deserve you. But I also don't ever want her to hate me for telling her bad things about her mom. I love these kids so much and though it's all really new for me, I'm trying my hardest. I know I'm not the most patient person, but I'm trying.
I just want to give my kids the best life from here on out. I want them to know that even though I didn't give birth to them, they are mine. I love them more than the person who did give birth to them. Someday I hope that they will understand that I love them like none other.
2 comments:
Autumn I am so proud of you for all that you have done for those kids, and all that you will continue to do for them for the rest of their lives. They are so lucky to have you and Bryant. They are so lucky to have parents who strive to do what is right and who love their Heavenly Father. That is the most important thing. I love you, and the Lord will bless your family. I know it.
You are such a sweetheart. I am proud of you for being such a great mom to them. =)
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