Birth Story

I finally blogged our little lady's birth story! Head on over to our family blog to read it!!

Garvin Family Blog

Can't wait for you all to see our new addition!!

Reflections of The Past

2012 was such a year of trials and miracles for our family. For the first 4 months of the year we didn't know what was wrong with Bry. It was so frustrating to have a husband who was physically so sick he couldn't get out of bed-- and no tests seem to provide answers. Then we saw a miracle happen with the amazing hospitalist that pointed us in the right direction to find out what was wrong and how to solve the problem. In April Bry had his neuro surgery and we had our Daddy and Hubby back. Life felt good.


 One night in June Bry and I were on a date and we were talking about getting a new car {this is something we don't do, buy new cars unless we pay cash} and like a brand new car. We were talking back and forth about the fact that we needed new vehicles but we didn't really want car payments. We decided to go and walk around the car lot and just see what was out there that could fit our family if we were to get pregnant when we did the fertility treatment at the end of the month. We left the car dealer that night driving a brand new car. Neither of us were too sold on the car. It was new and it smelled good but I was so worried about the kids being smooshed and if we got pregnant the trunk didn't seem big enough for a stroller. But we got the car. The VERY NEXT DAY I was at work and Bry called me, his department had been eliminated and he had been laid off. I called the car dealer and told them what happened and asked if there was a way to bring the car back. In AZ there is no 3 day grace period, so I knew this was a long shot. The guy told me to bring the car back before the end of the day, and not to worry. What a huge blessing!!! Quickly after Bry lost his job he had an opportunity fall in his lap that would be better than his old job. This opportunity lead Bry to start his own {extremely successful} marketing agency.


 June 28 we went in for our first Intrauterine Insemination (IUI) treatment. Because of my severe endometriosis we felt this was the best course of action to go. It was our first big step. Bry's insurance was paying for 100% for up to 6 treatments. As we went in I was so nervous. We were literally losing Bry's insurance 2 days later. What if this didn't work? What if we had to COBRA for the next 5 months seeing if this would work? Doubts were filling my mind as tears ran down my face and the procedure took place. It was about a 5 minute procedure but I had to stay there for an additional 30 min. Bry held my hand and talked so positively to me about how amazing it was that we were going to have a baby. I kept thinking that he must not have heard me when I told him the odds of this working. About 2 weeks after the procedure I got a funny little cramp while I was at work and figured it was just cramps because I was going to start so I went to reach in my drawer for some medicine when the thought came to mind not to take that in case I was pregnant. That was the first time I had thought anything of the sort, and it took me by surprise. But I listened and didn't. The next night was garbage night and I went to take the trash out, Bry quickly stopped me telling me that I shouldn't do that if I was pregnant. The next morning at 3 am I tested and saw the most beautiful two pink lines I'd ever seen. It worked and we were having a baby!!!


 We have grown and become so much stronger because of these trials the Lord knew we needed to go through. It was amazing how at the time of the trial we could almost immediately see the Lord's hand guiding us toward our next step. Our testimonies have grown, and our family has become so much closer in 2012.


 We can't wait for 2013. In 10 weeks we will be welcoming our baby girl into our family. Everyone of us anticipates her arrival and talks about it almost daily. Bry and I have become closer than we have ever been in the past 6 years. My relationship with the Lord is the closest it's ever been. I truly can see His hand and blessings in my life. I don't know where I would be without the Gospel and my Savior.


 In typical fashion for the New Year I have a few resolutions to leave off with 1. To have the baby by the end of March ;) 2. To focus on my personal scripture study and prayers 3. To get completely out of debt {we LOVE Dave Ramsey and Financial Peace University!} 4. To have regular Temple attendance


 2012 was amazing for our family. We look forward to 2013 and the changes we are already anticipating. May your New Year be happy and blessed!! And for documenting sake, here's a pic of my ever growing belly! This was taken 2 weeks ago!

8 is GREAT!!!!

On October 13 Giovanni was able to be baptized! He had waited a LONG time for this! He was supposed to get baptized in September but his two aunties had babies so he asked if he could wait until October so that his Grammy and Papa and Bamba could be there for his special day! It was such a special day for Giovanni. He was so excited to become "an official member of the church!" and for his Daddy to baptize him!

Giovanni was so excited to have his best buddy be able to come to his baptism, too! This pic cracks me up... they are so funny together yet so serious in this pic!

After the baptism and confirmation we watched a slide show of Giovanni's life. I cried putting it together and cried watching it. I love seeing how this little man has grown spiritually. He amazes me.

We were blessed to have so many of our friends and family come be a part of Giovanni's special day! It was a room full of people we love and love us, too!!

After the baptism we had everyone over to eat Giovanni's 8 Is Great Sub from our great friend's who own Crazy Sub! I didn't tell Giovanni I was ordering it, so he was so surprised when he saw it!!

I love this pic of Giovanni and Papa... they thought they should be able to eat the entire sub themselves! ;)

I am so thankful for the Gospel. I'm so thankful for the atonement. I'm thankful for the happiness and joy that the Gospel has brought in our lives. I'm so proud of Giovanni and for his true desire to be baptised and to choose the right. I love seeing him write in his journal and read his scriptures. He LOVES having his very own set of scriptures! I can't believe the next time that we will have a child getting baptized Giovanni will be 16... and Andy will be home from his mission! I love you, Giovanni and I am so proud of you and the amazing little man you are!!!

Gender Reveal!

We were able to find out what Little Baby Garvin was on Monday! Check out our family blog to find out if Nati and I are being out numbered, or if we are being balanced out! :) www.growingthegang.com

Dream Come True

I know I don't update on here often anymore... but the news needed to be documented! After 5 1/2 long and trying years we are expecting! Baby Garvin is set to arrive around March 20, 2013! We don't know how to contain our excitement! The kids can't stop asking questions and kissing my belly. This journey has been a long one. After countless prayers and blessings we can not stop thanking our Father in Heaven for this amazing gift. We know it was true inspiration to see the dr I see, to have the treatments I've had, and to have this precious little one join our family.

We have started a blog where Bry and I both can journal our thoughts through this amazing time. Feel free to visit us at growingthegang.com

Growing Up is Hard to do!

We've had some major growing up going on around here. It's really been hard on me! My babies are not babies any more! I need to be so much better about documenting things, but life has been crazy. So... a quick little snip-it...

Andy is 12 1/2. He love Scouts and loves the monthly camp outs he gets to go on. I love his enthusiasm for going on said trips. Except when I get a call at 10pm from the 1st counselor in the Bishopric that my adorable son brought some pills to help him sleep because he was so excited. And the next afternoon my lap was covered by "illegal camp out paraphernalia" that my son brought with in hopes that he could create a larger fire. It really is a good thing he is so cute! This almost teenager knows how to push my buttons and melt my heart. He's totally going to be a heart breaker when he grows up!

Natali is 9 1/2. She loves Activity Days and bossing her brothers. She is my little mother hen and tends to need the reminder that I'm the parent, not her. She is currently growing her hair out to donate it to Locks For Love. All her idea. She loves fashion and is on Pinterest more than I am (I didn't think that was possible! ;) ) She is in advanced classes this year and I'm pretty sure has passed me in her knowledge of Math. She has a strong testimony of the Gospel and has been bringing her bestie with her to Activity Days and has informed me she invited her to be baptised. Such a sweetie!

Giovanni is 71/2. He is on count down to getting baptised and loves being in Sr. Primary. Giovanni loves playing the Kinect and is super good at it. He reads like a champ, and loves to read chapter books. He no longer will let me kiss him good-bye if his friends are there and will only hold my hand until we get across the street. I hate this age :( He loves to play Angry Birds on my Touch Pad and though he says he wants to play it together, his turn somehow never ends! ;) He still is my little tender hearted love though!

It amazes me how quickly my kids are growing up. Giovanni came in my room at 3:40 this morning because he had a "night bear" so I let him hop in bed with me. As uncomfortable as it was having his knees in my sides and his elbow in my face, I laid there awake treasuring the moments... I realize they are few and far between... I needed to hold on as long as I could.

Lights At The End Of The Tunnel

I think I speak for my entire family when I say that these past 7 months have been long. It has been very hard having a sick Daddy with no rhyme or reason to his illness. We have learned to work around it and have learned to help each other, but we miss having Daddy healthy.
After going to every dr known to man kind {PCP, neurologist, endocrinologist, cardiologist, pulmonary} we finally were pooped and had no answers. Finally one day Bry had an appointment with his endocrinologist and I went with him. He was going over his MRI report with him, so I wanted to be there. We went in and the dr kinda shrugged it off and said it was a normal MRI and set it down next to me. So I picked it up and said, "wait, what does it mean thyroid nodule?" and that question led us to a blank stare. I didn't like that. I came to work the next day with the report and showed it to all of my dr's. They all agreed a new endocrinologist was in order, but also that this needed to be looked at by someone new {mind you, these were the same people who told us Bry had bone marrow cancer and sent us to the Cancer Center within a day of test results}. That afternoon my bestie called me and gave me the number to the Edocrin department of the Mayo Clinic. I made the call and told them about the nodule and was told that because of that he didn't have to go through the approval process. We were given an appointment 3 weeks out. That day was horrifying. We got to the parking garage and I lost it. Now, I've been extra emotional for a lot of his appointments {I may have left one crying in the middle of the dr talking...oops} but I just suddenly felt overwhelmed. We had put all of our eggs in the last basket and it was do or die time. The appointment left us less than impressed with the ever so prestigious "Mayo". I was discouraged. Bry was discouraged. We just didn't know what to do next. The next day I went to work and Bry went to work. That night after we put the little's to bed I was playing with Scotty and Sophie and Bry came around the corner to scare us and started laughing hysterically, then he passed out. It was so scary. It didn't last long, but it was long enough. The next day he called his PCP and went in for a visit. They did an EKG and it showed some abnormalities and his blood pressure was CRAZY high {this was a new symptom} so they told us to see our cardiologist. I called and we were put in for the next week. We went to the cardiologist and he did another EKG and confirmed that Bry had had a heart attack. WHAT?! He's 32! How could this be?? As was our luck, with every question we had no answer. That night I prayed harder than I think I ever have prayed in my life. I was having a Daddy/Daughter talk with my Heavenly Father. I needed Him and I needed help. I needed direction and guidance. I was praying and crying for a good 10 min. {I think it's safe to say that not a word I said was understandable to a human ear} I fell asleep crying that night. The next morning I was laying in bed awake, waiting for my alarm to go off when Bry came back from the restroom and said, "honey, I'm having chest pains bad. You need to take me to the hospital" he was short of breath and grabbing his chest. I got out of bed and walked over to help him get his shoes on when he passed out. I called 911 and the ambulance came. SCARY! My kids were all home and so worried. The took us to the hospital where Bry was poked, prodded, and tested for 4 days. The hospitalist that was assigned to him knew the docs I work for and listened to all of what Bry had been going through since August. She pulled out her cell phone and said, "I want you to go see this dr and have him check you for intracranial hypertension". I called the Dr and they got us in the next business day. And then things really started moving. This dr {neuro ophthalmologist} called a neurologist who got Bry in the next day and between the 2 of them they confirmed that Bry indeed did have intracranial hypertension, which was causing his migraines and all sorts of other problems. As we've gone to more appointments we have found that this has been the problem all along. Bry was also diagnosed with empty sella syndrome, which all the dr's had been blaming everything on, though they believed that it was something that happened at birth. Finally some answers, all the additional fluid that was coming from the intracranial hypertension was pushing down even more on his pituitary and his body was going in overdrive. This caused his high blood pressure, which caused his heart attack, it's the cause of his migraines. What a mess! This Monday Bry will be going to get a spinal tap and then we will discuss surgery to get a shunt placed. Finally we have answers.
It is truly amazing to see the Lord's hand in this whole process. Had Bry not had the chest pains that morning we would have never met the dr who referred us to the dr who diagnosed him. Amazing. Simply amazing. I feel my Savior's love has never been a truer statement!

Traditions

I'm in love with this time of year. Not only do I love that it's so cold right now my fingers are permanently blue, but I love the Spirit that fills the air. I love strangers being nice to one another. I love the Christmas music, hot cocoa, sugar cookies, Christmas lights. I love the chocolate covered peppermint joe joe's that Trader Joe's sells ONLY this time of year... I love it all!

A few traditions that we have I've carried on from when we were little. Each year we drive around looking at Christmas lights and singing Christmas songs. We also as a family chose someone who is in need and do Secret Santa. This is a tradition my kids LOVE. And probably one of the only times that my kids keep a secret. ;) Tonight we did another tradition that we used to do when I was little. Bry is at a work function and so the kids and I went to my parents house for dinner and FHE. After dinner we went in the living room and my Dad read us Christmas stories. Now, I've heard these same stories year after year for probably 20 years and every time I hear them I cry... tonight I didn't disappoint. The tears were stronger than ever {I'll blame it partly on the hormones! lol} and the Spirit I felt was amazing. It was so neat to sit with my littles and share these stories. After that my parents told my kids about Christmas when they were growing up. It was such a fun night!

This year I also started another tradition of letting my kids help decorate the Christmas tree. I can remember being little and wanting to help sooo bad. My Mom would let us help and then stay up all night long re-arranging the tree to make it look perfect. A few weeks ago I told Bry my suggestion of allowing the kids to help. He knew this was a big deal for me and told me it was up to me. So I did it. It was hard at first and I took a lot of deep breaths and counted to 10 a dozen times, but we made it through it. The kids had a hard time realizing that not every ornament needed to be on the tree, and with the new pup who is mischievous we couldn't put the ornaments too low either. Once we got those rules established it became really fun. This year we decorated our tree with ornaments that my Mom had given me from when I was a kid. It was so fun telling the stories behind the ornaments as we hung them on the tree. When we got done Bry was giving me a hug and I said, "Be honest, how does it look?" his reply was, "baby it looks like a family decorated it together" my response was, "That's what I was afraid of" ;) I'm actually really pleased with the way it turned out.

Last night we watched the First Presidency Christmas devotional {another thing I LOVE about this time of year} and I told the kids the story of when my roommate and I drove up from Provo to Salt Lake to go to the devotional. This was before the conference center was built so it was in the tabernacle. Well we didn't have tickets but thought we could get in. Thankfully there was a sweet usher that told us she had the perfect seats for the two of us... stage right to the Tabernacle Choir! YIKES!!!! Our parents called us after and told us how they saw us on TV-- and noticed that I had a horrible case of the giggles! It was such a fun memory that I loved sharing with my kids. I loved the words that President Uchtdorf spoke regarding trying to make Christmas perfect. His words spoke directly to my heart.

I'm excited for Christmas. I love reflecting on our Savior and Redeemer and the life He lived. I love taking this time to recognize the things that I can do to try a little harder to be a little better. It truly is the most wonderful time of the year!

Journaling

When I went to TOFW with some of my girl friends a few weeks ago we had this wonderful idea to leave our journals on our seats to "save" them for the next day. Well, we got there and our journals were gone! We were sooo sad! Our Bishop is the manager of Deseret Book, so we went to him and told him what happened, checked lost and found... nothing. I didn't know what made me more sad, the fact I had taken such great notes the night before or that I wouldn't be able to take notes that day.

The journal loss made me realize the importance of keeping a journal. There has been so many amazing events that have happened in the past 8 months that I didn't document that I wish I would have. I have documented somethings, and I love when I find a piece of paper with a thought on it or a quote I liked. But I need to be better about writing in my journal. There is something so refreshing about writing. Or typing, same diff, right? :)

So, because I may not be back on this blog for a while I thought I would end by journaling what I am thankful for.

1. I am thankful for my Savior and Redeemer, Jesus Christ.

2. I am thankful for the atonement and the opportunity I get to use it in my life

3. I am thankful for the truthfulness of the Gospel, and the peace and true joy it brings to my life.

4. I am thankful for my husband and the strength he is to me

5. I am thankful for my amazing children

6. I am thankful for forgiveness; being given forgiveness and being able to give others forgiveness

7. I am thankful for the Lord's tender mercy's

8. I am thankful for my family. I never really realized how glad I would be that my parents bought a home so close

9. I am thankful for my ward family. I am truly amazed by these wonderful people that surround me each week.

10. I am thankful for the knowledge that I am a daughter of God and that He knows me, He loves me, and He wants me to be happy.

11. I am thankful for the doors that have closed and the "friends" that have left so that I could move on and welcome true friends and great opportunity in.

12. I am thankful for the knowledge that I will be living with my family forever.

13. I am thankful to be serving with such amazing women in my ward, truly a calling that I needed desperately

14. I am thankful for the scriptures... searching, pondering, and praying are daily routine and make my days amazing

15. I am thankful for mine and Bry's jobs. We are so fortunate to have the ability to have such great jobs and great benefits when so many people are suffering. We truly are blessed.

These past 8 months have been hard, but have made me a stronger, more faithful, and more loving person. I am thankful for the trials that I have had. I am so thankful that I made a decision with Bry early on that regardless of what we were going through, things were beyond our control and the only thing we could control was our attitude, and we were going to make sure it was a good one. So, with that being said, my most favorite quote from TOFW will be my good night! :) {oh, and btw, our journals were found 4 days after TOFW ended! Thankful for CVS being close by that we went and bought new ones at lunch! ;)}

"The Atonement isn't to help you get home, it's to help you feel at home when you get there" ~Brad Wilcox

Paradise

Tomorrow seems so far away... but tomorrow I will be in Paradise. For a beautiful long weekend Bry and I are getting away {sans kids, mind you!}. I'm looking forward to sleeping in late, having someone else cook me breakfast {lunch and dinner, too!}, doing some shopping, maybe catching a movie, and spending some much needed and quality time with the love of my life.

Ahhhhhh.... weekend away... you can't seem to come fast enough!

Thankful

Today feels perfect to me... sure it's 80 outside and I feel like I am baking in the oven, but it's beautiful out there! I know not everything is perfect, but I love those days where you can look at it and think, "ahhh I really am this lucky to have this life"...

A few things I'm thankful for today

1. My hubby-- while neither of us are perfect, he is perfect for me. I couldn't ask for a better man in my life. He is such a hard worker, he loves me, he makes me laugh, he sings to me, he holds me when I'm sad, and... the other night I was having hot flashes {thank you new medication lol} and he swapped me sides of the bed so I could be closer to the fan. Now that's true love!

2. My three kids-- Without a doubt every day they make me laugh so hard. They try so hard to do what is right and be good. Even though we were going to be late this morning, they thought it would be fun to wrestle until Giovanni threw up he was laughing so hard. See-- they are always thinking of others! ;)

3. My parents-- it's hard to have your parents live with you, I'm sure anyone could say that. But I am so thankful they are here right now. They are my friends and they are so helpful to me. Almost every Friday night they watch the kids so Bry and I can go on a date. Most nights I come home to a clean house and dinner on the table. Such a blessing in my life especially right now.

4. My friends-- I've had a rough few months and I can't tell you how thankful I am for the friends that have stuck by me and supported me. I'm thankful for the new friends I've made and the old friends I've reunited with.

5. Mine and Bry's Jobs-- It's hard being a mom of 3 and working full time while your hubs does the same. We are so blessed to both have great jobs that allow us to afford the things we do and allow us to have pretty great benefits. We both also work with some pretty awesome people that help the day go by! And let's not forget, our jobs allow us to afford my shopping problem ;)

6. Forgiveness-- I'm thankful for being forgiven and for affording others forgiveness. It's not always easy to forgive but I've tried remembering lately how am I supposed to expect forgiveness if I don't show forgiveness. I'm thankful for second chances, and for the opportunity to repent of things I've done wrong.

7. Anniversary Get Away-- I'm especially thankful that in 1 week from today I will be leaving town to get away with my main squeeze for a much needed get away!

Those are some things I'm thankful for... what about you?!

Hanging On

Giovanni has had a tooth that has wiggled and jiggled for what has felt like forever! We have been convinced that the Tooth Fairy was going to pay Giovanni a visit for months. Well, last night I came home and noticed the tooth was loose and turning dark, so it was dying. After a ton of tantrums-- I mean, after Giovanni getting over his fears and becoming strong and courageous he {finally} let Mommy tie a string around the stubborn tooth and pull it out! He was a great helper, after we were all done he said, "you were pushing the string {which he calls shring love it!} down, finally you understood I was telling you pull up and my tooth popped out. You have to pull up on it like you do the weeds, Mom" If only we had listened to him 30 min earlier!

So, finally after 6.5 long years, Giovanni was paid his first visit by the Tooth Fairy, who had to call in for back up because Giovanni didn't want the tooth to fall off his bunk bed so he secured it rather well! ;) He was so excited this morning when he found the money the Tooth Fairy had left him! Now let's see if the tooth next to it that is wiggling and jiggling like crazy moves a little quicker this time! :)

Have You Ever?

Have you ever had one of those Sunday's where you went to church and everything that was said was meant just for YOU? That is exactly how yesterday was.
I woke up and went in to wake the kids to find that Andy was super sick so I got the other 2 up and had Andy go back to bed. I decided I wasn't going to get frustrated that we weren't going to church as a family, instead I was going to make sure that we still made yesterday a special Sunday. So we went to church {and got there BEFORE they said the opening prayer!!!} and I am so glad we did. Yesterday was Ward Conference. Our Bishop spoke on asking questions. He told how it was a good thing to ask questions, but to make sure we are asking the right ones. He posed the question, "What if Joseph Smith never would have asked which church he should belong to". He then spoke about the atonement and asking questions while using the atonement. He spoke about how important it is to ask questions like "though I've made mistakes what good things are going on in my life?" "What has happened in my day that the Lord has shown me His tender mercies?" "Though things were rough, are they starting to get better and am I not recognizing that?".
Our Stake President spoke on the importance of recording your impressions. He said how he carries a little journal type book with him in his truck for when he gets out of the Temple, as soon as he is done with his session he writes down the impressions he gets. The book never leaves his truck. He also has one that he carries with him to church. I loved that idea. I've often heard something I liked and thought about writing it down and when I get around to it I've blanked on what it was about. He also talked about how every member was born to proclaim the Gospel.
Sunday School was about missionary work. The thing I most loved from Sunday School was the quote "Let your life be the lesson and the Spirit be the Teacher". When we came in they had TWILAMC written on the board, I couldn't figure it out. They said "When you are talking to someone you can share the gospel by simply ending something with and that's what I love about my church!" LOVE it!!
Relief Society didn't give me a chance to have a dry eye. Our sweet Stake Relief Society President probably couldn't concentrate with my sobs. She spoke to us about charity. Her challenge to all of us was to "just be nice"... This is something I have not been to some people, and I'm so ashamed of myself for that. She also told us the importance of giving the benefit of the doubt or remaining quiet, and how charity is expecting the very best of each other. All that she was saying was hitting so close to home for me. It was just what I needed to hear. She also said that if these things were not something we were currently doing, or just started to do, that's ok. Move forward and learn to bide your tongue because words are one thing you can never take back. In closing she said, "Anger and resentment is like swallowing poison and waiting for the other person to die".
I feel so refreshed and rejuvenated by church yesterday. I feel so excited for next week. I went to bed last night feeling spiritually full. It was a great feeling. Our Relief Society has been challenged to read the Book of Mormon in full in 100 days. That's about 9 pages a day. I'm excited for this challenge. It is something I need in my life. I am so thankful that Heavenly Father inspired these amazing Brothers and Sisters to speak on what they spoke of. I am thankful for the atonement and for the opportunity I have to make my wrongs right. I am thankful for the strong Spirit I've felt in my home and in my life. I am thankful for the miracle of forgiveness and for answers to prayers.

Saturday Is a Special Day

We have a new routine around here... Saturday night is our "prep time". 8 o'clock church comes early {how is it that I can be out of the house with the kids on school days by 8 but can't be to church by 8?! Really gotta work on that!} so we've learned little tricks that help us to make Sunday mornings more peaceful. Shockingly, when I'm stressed I can be a yeller, and yelling for sure is not inviting to the spirit.

We get our hair cut and leave our attitude behind {but not our sarcasm!}

We try on our outfits and get our jewelry ready {don't worry I said no to the skull necklace!}

We practice our best smiles for Primary

We make sure our favorite boots are by Daddy's door to get shined

Then we take showers, read scriptures, say prayers, and head to bed. Saturday nights have become my favorite night around here. I love getting prepared for the Sabbath. I love that our family is working together to get ready to go to church. We have felt such a difference in our family over the past few weeks. I am so thankful for the changes we have made. I'm thankful for the atonement and the opportunity I have to go to church and feel the Spirit. I'm thankful for second, third, fourth, and fifth chances. I'm thankful for the power of prayer and for a loving Heavenly Father who knows me and my weaknesses. I'm thankful for change. I'm thankful for my amazing husband who is by my side every step of the way being my biggest fan. We have become so much closer as a couple, it's amazing the way things change when you have an eternal perspective. Tomorrow is our 3rd week back at church. 3 weeks in a row makes you officially "active" again. I love that we are active. It feels good to say that we are active. It's funny how my attitude has made such a difference. I spent so much time being bitter party of 1 that I didn't give the amazing women of my ward a chance. I'm so thankful they are still giving me and our family a chance.
A few weeks back I was taking Andy to Scouts and I got to the church and it was empty. I looked in my email and found his Scout leaders phone number and gave him a call. His wife answered and I told her who I was and that I was calling to make sure Scouts wasn't canceled. When I said my name the sweet sister she explained that she was my visiting teacher and she had been thinking of me. She told me that if I needed anything to please let her know. This was the key thing she said to me, "anything at all. Even just a friend to talk to, I'm here". This sister who I had ignored for months was offering me exactly what I needed at that time. A friend. Just another reminder of the Lord letting me know that I was doing the right thing and that He was mindful of His daughter who needed a little reassurance.

Wasn't Expecting this...

Today I had a dr appointment with a new obgyn. It's going on 4 years that Bry and I have been trying to have a baby. It's a discouraging, heartbreaking, frustrating path. Just when we thought we were going to have what we've been wanting I miscarried. So frustrating. Last year before I got pregnant a rep came into my office and we started talking somehow the topic got on pregnancy and I found out that she had a hard time trying to conceive as well. She mentioned the dr she went to and how he was a "miracle worker" and I should go to him. I thought about it but then got pregnant and didn't think I needed him. A few weeks ago a patient came into my office and we started talking and she tells me she was trying to get pregnant before and she went to this amazing dr, who happened to be the same dr the rep told me about. I went home that night and talked to Bry about it. I told him I wanted to see this guy and just see what he had to say. Maybe he could help, and maybe not, but I wanted to try before moving forward. Sunday Bry and I were talking to our Bishop and I told him about how frustrated/angry/sad I'd been about not being able to have a baby. He gave me some amazing advice that the Lord knows my desires and knows my heart and will put me in touch with the right people who will be able to help me. He reminded me nothing happens by accident.
Today was my appointment. I was nervous and excited. Usually when you go see a new doc it's mostly, "we'll do blood work and see what happens". I went in and right away had an ultrasound. During this the doc was showing me things he was talking about and explaining things I didn't know about my body. He found a huge cyst that he is concerned with but gave me medication to help it shrink, if that doesn't work I will have to have surgery. After asking me a ton of questions he tells me, "Well, we know what is wrong, now let's fix it". I've known that I have PCOS but I found out today that I also have endometriosis. Talking to the dr I found out that he is a former Bishop who specializes in women with PCOS and/or endometriosis. I was in the right place. I was given some scripts and a shot in the bum, and sent on my way for a few weeks unless the cyst ruptures {comforting, right?}.
Though it is not what I was expecting, I am so thankful to know what it is that is "wrong" with me. I am so thankful that I was in the right place at the right time. I'm so thankful that this sweet Dr took over an hour explaining things to me and telling me that everything will be alright. I'm not saying I'm not scared, I am. I'm not saying that I won't go through moments of discouragement, I'm sure I will. But I know that I am seeing the right doc for me. I am thankful for the Lord's tender mercies in reassuring us that He really does know my heart and my desires. I'm thankful He put me in contact with the right people, though I didn't realize it at the time. I feel great comfort and peace, and for that I am extra thankful.

Sunday Fun day!

Yesterday was a super great day! We had a super good day at church, a super good meeting with our super sweet Bishop, came home and took a super good and much needed nap (the one perk I have found to having 8 am church!), then made and ate some super yummy food while the boys watched the super football game and the girls had a super sunday craft day!

I will say the cheering was a little distracting and I burnt myself on the glue gun (my battle wound), but I am so proud of myself and Jess for the awesome job we did! I couldn't have gotten all of my "pretties" done had it not been for my Mom, too! Even Natali joined in on the crafting fun! We loved chatting, laughing, eating, and seeing the progress of our crafts!

Holy deal!!

So after my third contact in a row tore in my eye this week I found myself without any contacts left! I have an astigmatism in both eyes so my contacts are a bit pricey, being a {at times} bargain shopper I went on the hunt for the best deal for my contacts! My sweet co-worker and good friend told me about coastalcontacts.com so I checked it out and let me tell you... if you need contacts, glasses, or even sunglasses you will thank me for telling you about them! Everywhere I tried wanted around $67 a box for my contacts, so a years supply would have been $268... I ordered a years supply from coastalcontacts.com for $108!!! You get free shipping on orders over $99 and they are way quick to get to you!

A great deal I just couldn't keep to myself! :)

Don't Judge...the most honest post I've written

My life has been crazy the past few months. I have done things that I'm not proud of that have ruined friendships, which makes it that much harder. I am my own worst enemy when it comes to mistakes I've made. I will be the first to tell you that I'm a bad Mom, I'm late to everything, I'm not perfect. I have lost sight of so many things in my life. So many things. I have been in a horrible depression since I had my miscarriage in July. Depression is an ugly thing. I knew what I was feeling, but instead of taking the bull by the horns and doing something about it I decided to go in a downward spiral and make matters worse. It kills me to know that my due date is in 2 days. I try to think positively about the whole situation, but the thoughts that haunt my mind are what I did wrong to cause this... though I know these things happen and nothing could have prevented this. I hate that I took my depression and pushed people away, and did hurtful things. I hate the person I have been. I can't tell you the last time I've been to church. I justified this because I don't feel very welcome in my "new" {we are going on 8 months in this house} ward. What a horrible example I've been to my children. So many times I've found myself wanting to say a prayer, feel comforted, but didn't feel worthy of that. I'm so ashamed at myself for my actions over the past 6 months. Then it hit me...
I CAN change. The Lord has a plan, and the atonement is for EVERYONE, not just for everyone BUT me. I know my road will be a long one. I know that I will go through times where I feel sad and lonely, but it's do or die time.
I hope those I've offended read this. I hope they realize that I am trying... it's hard to change when your past is a constant reminder. I truly am sorry that the friendships that have been ruined are over. I'm sorry that I wasn't stronger, that I didn't have more faith, that I wasn't a better person. Hopefully forgiveness will happen and the hurt and pain will leave.
I'm not going to sit here and pretend that I'm not scared, because I am, but I'm more scared of what I will become if I don't follow through with my changes. Already I see such a difference in my family and in my relationship with Bry. I'm thankful for that.
I'm thankful that I have the opportunity to repent of the things I have done and put the past behind me. I'm hopeful that my future will be bright and full of friends that love me for me and stand by me through everything. I know that what I have to do is going to take a lot of work on my part, but I know that it will be worth it in the end...

Duck Soap

I realized lately that my kids are pretty funny and I need to be documenting this for later in life when I need good blackmail stories to tell! :)

A few weeks ago we were at the store and I remembered I needed dish soap so we go down the aisle and I grab the soap. When we got home I unloaded our groceries and Giovanni decided to help me. He gets the soap out and in the happiest voice EVER he says, "Ohhhh good Mom, you bought the duck scented soap again!" Yep, I sure did, Giovanni... nothing cleans as well as duck scented soap!

It's little things like this that remind me just how precious my babies are. I'm so lucky to have such funny kids!

Free Christmas Cards

We all love Christmas, we all love cards, we all love Shutterfly, and we all love FREE!!

Follow this link for 50 free shutterfly holiday cards-- it's super simple, click on the link, fill out your info, blog about it, and then they'll send you an email with a coupon for 50 free cards! Pretty sweet deal, huh?! Just make sure to send me a card! ;)